Numb fills your heart, drowns your thoughts, seeps at your soul. Your homework lays upon your desk, unfinished. Your art scatters across the floor, abandoned. Your dinner sits, untouched.
Why don’t you feel anything anymore?
But you do. You feel. A lot. About everything. The numb envelopes you, leaving only the acute sensation of terror. Terror of failure. Raw, unstoppable terror. Yes, you feel. Feeling leaves you curled on the floor, shaking and sobbing like a little child.
You wish it would leave. You wouldn’t mind the numb taking everything away. If it would just take everything away, including this. This monster disguised as overactive emotions. This demon eating your mind and soul, crushing you to dust.
It does not. Numb steals your hope, your love, your dreams. Leaving only the terror. And shame. Shame stays as well, your truly caring friend, who stays through rain or shine.
You slam your fists into concret, nigh on breaking your fingers. You bit your hands, leaving purple bruises. You pace the halls, watching the clock draw on midnight, then one, then two. You have school, work, life to live tomorrow. Your mind is weary from the agony. Your body aches from the tension.
Stumbling to your room, you collapse into bed. To tired to think. To tired to be afraid. To tired to feel the shame, the terror. You beat it, for today.
You drift to sleep.